Parenting this last year has been rough. I have been challenged at my core, triggered from my painful childhood, and burned out! Not to mention homeschooling!!
Now I’m not saying I haven’t experienced wonderful moments of fun, joy and love because each day my children bring me all of those things.
But if I’m honest, this last year, my internal battle as a parent had taken a toll on me. There were some behaviors (yelling) and character flaws I have as a parent, that stem from some of my own unresolved childhood issues and learned behaviors. I knew, if I didn’t deal with them they would have the potential to deeply hurt or wound my children the same way I was as a child.
As I type this out, I want to erase all of what I just typed because it’s a raw spot. I’m being completely transparent to strangers. Opening myself up to judgements and assumptions. But I know that there is purpose even in my pain or struggles. There must be an avenue for mothers and fathers to share our flaws and imperfections so that we can all heal, grow and be better.
No more isolation.
So as I was saying, I came to a real internal low spot as a mom. Yes me, the one everyone looks to for parenting and homeschooling advice. The one who blogs and shares ideas.
All that was surface.
These last few months left me in a place seeking God’s face for something more in my parenting. Crying out for practical answers and steps to dealing with all that blocked me from being the mother I knew I could be.
The answer came in 4 forms.
Counseling.
A 4 week break from my kids.
Weeklong vacation with my husband.
The best parenting book I have EVER read “Purposeful Parenting” by Tyra Lane-Kingsland.
Let me break these down for you.
Counseling…
I have been in counseling off and on for years to deal with various issues throughout my adulthood. I am a huge advocate for counseling. I have had the same counselor for about 8 years and she is amazing! However, I felt for my most recent struggles I needed to seek other wise counsel. I finally found one and after my initial session I knew my breakthrough was coming! She gave me a workbook to help me deal with some residual issues from my dysfunctional childhood , that my children were triggering. Everyday I work through this book chains fall off!
Four weeks away from my kids…
I hear many moms say “I could never be away from my kids that long”. Well let me tell you, I think many of us need these types of breaks. For self care, rejuvenation and to just be. As I type this, my children are with their grandparents. This is the first time I am blogging in months! I was burnt out. Just doing what was necessary day to day. Suffocating beneath each and every responsibility. Being a mother is the most fulfilling job I have ever had. But a job none the less. To manage a home and teach 3 children. If everyone else gets vacations, why don’t I?
So my children are enjoying time with grandparents while I get to sleep in late and not cook!
7 day Vacation
Kids gone, 10 years of marriage…time to celebrate!! We saved for months, and paid cash for 7 days in Puerto Rico! I am blogging right now with a view of palm trees!
We needed this reset! I say do whatever it takes to put your marriage and self care 1st so that we have what we need to pour out and be the best for our families and children!
A few weeks ago I signed up to be a part of a launch team for a book a fellow homemaker had written. She needed us to read and help promote the book. I jumped at the task because it came smack dab in the middle of my heartfelt cries to God on practical ways to change my parenting style. Well little did I know this was more than an answer! God has blessed me to my core. Not only am I getting practical help and answers, I know I am not alone on the roller coaster journey of parenting.
With each chapter Tyra covers each topic with transparency. She connects with you through the pages as if she lives inside your home. She gently guides you through real life stories and senarios and the gives you practical tools to address each issue.
Unlike most parenting books which focus on fixing the kids, this book allows us to open some raw spots as parents, and gets us to the root. She doesn’t preach at us that she has all the answers, but gives us an avenue to take her steps and make them fit our family.
My life is forever changed because of this book. I was not asked to write this blog. I do so in hopes that another mom who may be burned out, seeking answers, struggling and tired may get the help she needs.
We are not in this alone.
I am Ashley Gilbert. A recovering short tempered mom that yells. Yes I said it. No shame attached. I know I’m not the only one. Free yourself today from the myth that you are a bad mom.
Buy the book . (E-book available now hard copy May 30th)
Take a vacation no matter how big or small.
Spend time with your spouse and date again.
Seek wise counsel.
Chime in! Share your thoughts and vulnerabilities with me! Let the world know that you can be the most loving mom and have internal struggles too!
In love,
Ashley